Happy 2020! Did you make any New Year's resolutions? How are they going? If you are like many of us, they may be harder to keep going than we'd wish. Below, we offer a pep talk for those of us who need it.

Strategy or Need?

Sometimes, when the resolution is hard to follow, it is because it really doesn't fit. Marshall Rosenberg, founder of Non-Violent Communication, distinguishes between needs and strategies. Needs are universal- things like love, health, safety, exploration, etc. Strategies are ways of meeting our needs. It is easy to get the two mixed up.

Take a look at your resolution. If it is something like, "I will exercise 3 times a week," that is a strategy, not a need. The underlying need could be to feel healthy, or to feel connected with your spouse (who nags you if you don't exercise). Check out the need. Is there a different strategy which would also meet your need? Something that feels better to do? Instead of the gym, maybe a DVD home workout? Instead of weightlifting, qigong? Or vice versa?

"Bad" Results are Good Data

What this means is that instead of beating yourself up for not acting the way you wanted, get curious. What exactly happened? Where were you when things went wonky? What emotions and thoughts led up to the moment? Was anyone else there? If so, how did they influence the situation? Looking at the situation with neutral eyes lets you plan for more success in the future.

Avoid All or Nothing

Thinking "Oh, I ate that cookie, so I might as well eat the whole box" or "I didn't run 5 miles, so I might as well not run a block" are examples of this thought process. All or nothing thinking is so painful. Just like tossing your spare change in a jar, a little change in the direction of health can add up. We often have such high expectations of ourselves. Instead, let's be kind and encourage ourselves as we take small steps.

Connect with Allies

Chances are, someone you know is also trying to make a change. Make a pact with someone you trust to support each other. Tell each other your plans, help each other get back on track, if needed, and celebrate small victories!

Of course, Normandale's Integrative Health Education Center classes are a great way to meet other people who are interested in improving their lives, as well as learning wonderful strategies from our expert instructors.  We hope to see you in a workshop, class, or certificate program soon.